After Silence

The banner below is a link to “After Silence,” a support resource for survivors of sexual violence. Rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, whatever you want to call it, you were wounded and you deserve to heal.

From the site: “You are not alone, and you deserve to be heard and supported. Your voice matters.”

This will be on the resource page as well.

Dealing With Flashbacks

1.Sit up straight with your feet flat on the floor. Inhale  through your nose, count to ten, and exhale slowly  through your mouth. Repeat five times.

 2.Find a safe place to be with your feelings.

3.Talk about what you are experiencing with someone who is really listening and is not afraid to ask questions.

4.Remind yourself that you are safe. Tell yourself that you are remembering what happened in the past and that you are in the present — safe.

5.Journal: Write down what you saw, how it felt, and what you are currently feeling.

6.Tell yourself that you are not going crazy. Flashbacks are part of the healing process. They are not going to make you crazy, even though it feels that way.

7.Do three things to care for yourself.

8.Do something physical, such as walking or running in place, pounding your fists on a pillow, or shredding newspaper.

9.Call someone in your support system. This may be someone from group, a recovery partner or an intimate partner. If your support person is not available, try calling a local crisis line for support.

10.Ground yourself with an object of empowerment and safety.

11.If you have gone through this list three times and are still feeling intense emotions related to flooding, flashbacks or a personal crisis, put a call in to your therapist. It is likely that your therapist will not be available the moment you call. Keep working through your list until you feel better and/or your therapist calls back.

[From “Triumph Over Darkness” by Wendy Ann Wood, M.A.]

Managing Triggers/Inner Child

* Make sure you are in a comfortable situation;

* Keep your journal, a drawing pad, reprogramming worksheets, comforting toys and some tissues handy. It is often helpful to keep a positive or   inspiring object, image or guardian “icon” visible….something that reminds you of your desire to heal..

* Remind yourself of your positive motives and possible short-term consequences….and your reasons for risking them. It is often helpful  to make some message signs (block letters, so kid alters or vulnerable inner child state can read them). For example:

This story may trigger my feelings and/or memories.

I can stop reading if I need to. If I am very upset, I can __________ until I feel better, (Fill in the blank with what works best for you, for example, “listen to some music”, “hold my teddy bear”, “call a friend”, “write in my journal”, “yell, and pound on a pillow”, “mash some clay”, “draw ugly pictures”, etc)

I am choosing to read so that I can heal by honoring and comforting my pain

I do not want to add more pain through self punishment in the present.

I am willing to release old pain, but I do not want to become confused by

it so that I think I need to be hurt any more.

* Be aware that narratives can sometimes open up associated memory fragments (a memory “bank”) which can seem mixed, confused or contradictory. Remember, you have time to sort out all of the pieces. Things are not always as they first appear. Trust your feelings as valid to your experience.

* Remember to ask yourself, “If I knew a child who just experienced what I am remembering or feeling, what would he or she need to feel comforted?” Then provide for yourself as best you are able.

The key to healing of the adult is the healing of the child.

Source

60 Ways to Nurture Yourself

Take a walk

Deep breath and think,”I am calm and peaceful”

Say an affirmation

Connect with Nature

Ride a bike

Share feelings about an experience with a friend

Read a book or magazine article

Concentrate on the flame of a candle

Soak in a hot bath, with candles and music

Listen to music you like

Express your thoughts & feelings in a journal

meditate

Exercise at the gym

Sing or makes sounds

Make a to do list

Pray

Stretch and move to music

Hug someone, ask for a hug

Write a poem

Talk to your guardian angel

Practice Yoga postures

Pet your dog or cat

Write a letter

Listen to a guided meditation tape

Take a course in Tai Chi, water aerobics, or yoga

Talk to someone by pre-tending they are facing you in an empty chair

Listen to tapes

Write about your spiritual purpose

Sit in the sun for 15 minutes

Telephone a long dis-tance friend or relative

Email a friend

Visualize yourself in a peaceful place

Change one thing to improve your diet

Notice what you are feeling several times a day

List things you will do to improve your life

Do something of service for another or for your community

Watch birds and animals interact in nature

Write a letter to someone who has hurt you, but do not send it

Update negative beliefs that limit your life

Join a church group

Go swimming

Feel your fear and take a positive risk for change

Journal write daily about your reactions, thoughts and feelings for a month

Learn about a religion different from your own

Sit in a garden or park

Smile at a stranger and send them thoughts of peace, acceptance, joy

List your traits, needs and want

Study with a spiritual teacher

Take a nap

Affirm your self daily

Make a list of short term and long term goals

Study ancient, esoteric wisdom teachings

Get a massage

Watch children play; talk to your inner child in a loving, joyful way

Preview your day upon awakening, Review upon retiring

Practice unconditional love and forgiveness with self and others

Eat totally healthy for one day

Acknowledge yourself for accomplishments you are proud of

Work on your family tree

Practice a daily quiet time, routine to connect spiritually

Source